Hotene’s sudden and complete absence felt like having a limb separated from my body with a cleaver.Heart beating fast, I looked around wildly into t...e snow-covered landscape, irrationally hoping that I’d see my daughter emerging through the trees. But there was nothing. No tracks, not a single sign that she’d departed the camp.Picking up on my panic, Zuri looked at me curiously.“Can you find Hotene?” Frowning, my sister’s eyes lost focus before they widened in fright in response to the same. That night as I lay in bed I knew in my heart ofhearts that there wasn't any way that I going back to what I had been; Iwas a girl, a woman, inside and out. Janet wanted all the details ofcourse, but all she got was "I had a nice time." The same for mom,although I think she knew better.I went out with Ethan several more times, each time we both went furtherthan before, until it happened. He wanted me in his bed, and even toldme that. Up to that point it was just fondling and kissing, but going. One day soon he would come in through the door and beg her to forgive him. It had all been a terrible mistake and it was her he really wanted. This other had been a mere passing fancy that he had foolishly succumbed to. She would forgive him and take him back. She would understand, telling him that such mistakes happened in life. Of course she would forgive him, didn’t she love him and isn’t forgiveness one of love’s great gifts? Deep down she knew this was a futile delusion but in the torment. That's what they used to call me." I feel left out. I don't have a nick-name." Sure you do," Sheila said. "You're Charlotte 'The Slut' Lawsen."Charlotte and I froze in shock for a moment. Then we both burst out laughing when we realized Sheila was only teasing."I fucking love this girl, Ant," Charlotte said. "She's hilarious!" No offense," Sheila said."Oh don't be silly," Charlotte replied. "I know I'm a slut. It doesn't bother me. I actually like it. No rules, no inhibitions. It's sexy.".
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